back again

I haven't felt inclined to write for awhile. My experiments on Second Life have been more to do with examining why I am most attracted to my Japanese woman avatar. And why do my virtual landscapes incorporate a lot of sand and sand-loving flora, when my neighbours are into darker, more dense and mysterious plantings. Is it because I was myself conceived on an island and spent a lot of time throughout childhood and beyond visiting this sandy, lovely, island? The island landscape is deeply etched into my soul.

Elila has had several avatar forms. She started out as an ethereal lightworker with a long blond plait and blue faery wings. Now I've named her Saphira, being as I am, very attracted to the idea of the last Japanese dragon (Naga). The passion for this intrigues me.

I recognize in myself a sort of asceticism as well as a love of richness. I like the fact that Naga Saphira is a meditative garden where you can do tai chi, or sit in meditation, or cuddle in the ponds,  or just walk from garden room to garden room.

I've incorporated a little visual story. In the forest there is an infant unicorn. She is new born and very magical. Horses gallop to see her. All the horses, except one, are made of ice. The exception is a brown and white horse that is half light, half flesh and blood. The meaning, for me, is that the little magical one is melting the hearts of the icy horses, making them into flesh and blood, and infusing them with light. One day all the horses will be flesh and blood and light.

I hope my land will be visited often, so that you can see the story unfold.

Garden

I've redesigned my garden. It is now spring and full of flowers, butterflies, and grasses. Ice horses gallop across the landscape. There are places to chat together with friends, to meditate, or just sit. There are places to walk and get lost. This is a truly lovely place to simply be.

It is interesting that this manifestion of Naga Saphira is the most visited. I like that.

Christmastide

I've wiped my land "Naga Saphira" and am building a winter-into-spring scene and am finding the whole process wonderfully therapeutic. The old has passed away and there is a sense of expectation of new beginnings. The making of this winter/spring wonderland is an integral part of my own letting go of the old and embracing of  a shimmering newness. My life feels on the verge of otherness.

Gardens, continued

I am continuing to build gardens in Naga Saphira, laying down grass and reeds, rocks and trees and building a magic underwater garden as well. I have seals dancing, a maypole, a rock to sit on, meditation cushions; I am making this space intensely beautiful. It interests me that the work I'm doing in this virtual space parallels the work I'm doing (I, being the avatar puppet mistress) in my first life garden. I notice my reclusiveness in second life and my reclusiveness in first life and feel gently nurtured in my garden making explorations.

Flower garden

It's spring in rl and in Naga Saphira so I've been planting flowers. I'm also building a beautiful underwater garden where seals play. There is something deeply nurturing about planting flowers, whether in rl or sl and it is interesting that the poor old brain gets the same pleasure from it. I don't think the mind can really differentiate between a virtual space and a real one. A creative act is a creative act.

Being a dragon

I have several different coloured dragon forms and enjoy being a dragon. These beasts fly magnificently, bite and breathe fire. I feel so liberated. It's wonderful.

Four women

A few months ago I did an interesting social experiment on Second Life where I went in 4 different skins to a site where you can sit down and beg for money under a sign reading something like: "I can't pay my rent. Will you please help me by paying 10 Linden dollars." I sat there for 10 minutes each time. My name was visible: Elila Azalee, but I looked different each time, though what I wore didn't change. For the first sitting I was a beautiful dark skinned woman. No one went near me, no one spoke to me, and I got no money at all. Then I went off and returned as a  gorgeous Japanese woman. People looked, but no one spoke, but I got one payment. Then, after 10 minutes, I went off and returned as a lovely blond Caucasian woman. Suddenly every one wanted to talk. I was like a bee hive. And I made a lot of money in that skin. After 10 minutes I went off and returned as a red haired freckled woman, but by then the people at this site were on to me. Suddenly my name was familiar. So, "cover" (!) blown I stopped the experiment.

So racial prejudice is alive and obscenely well.

It is interesting that I feel most comfortable in my Japanese skin, even though I am actually Caucasian (though with a bit of Mongolian) in real life. Thinking about this in relation to the experiment described here, perhaps it is because I am left alone, though do attract a little interest - enough to feel comfortable in this virtual space. I am essentially an introvert, after all.