It's winter again in Naga Saphira and Christmas is coming. An aurora borealis glissens above and everything glows and is beautiful. Come and check it out. Take a ride on reindeer driven sled or sit and gaze at the sky.
This is Second Life, an alternate reality, where nearly anything is possible. Your limitations are your own.
Have fun.
Saturday, 24 November 2012
Saturday, 13 October 2012
Return to Equanimity, in cat's clothes
All is restored. The Chinese temple is back, as are the gardens.
In my first life, my beloved cat Paschie passed on aided by the "green dream" provided by the vet because of terrible terrible convulsions caused, apparently, by a "space occupying lesion" (a tumor), so, in second life I wear my cat avatar and get a sense of place from the perspective of a pussy cat.
It is very interesting that wearing the body of a cat elicits sweet reactions from human avatars. I pad around fairly populated places and everyone wants to pat me, forgetting my humanity (the hand in the puppet, as it were).
I think I shall experiment more with being a cat and go out more.
I am - for myself - soothed wonderfully by being a cat. She bounds along, fluidly, cat-like and is a balm to my actual human emotions. Paschie and I were very close. I said of her that she was the love of my life, so it hurts that she is not here anymore filling her presence in my house. I rattle around the house like a pea.
Interesting, me thinks, how wearing cat's clothes (the bodily form of cat) is so soothing for me in my actual pain....
In my first life, my beloved cat Paschie passed on aided by the "green dream" provided by the vet because of terrible terrible convulsions caused, apparently, by a "space occupying lesion" (a tumor), so, in second life I wear my cat avatar and get a sense of place from the perspective of a pussy cat.
It is very interesting that wearing the body of a cat elicits sweet reactions from human avatars. I pad around fairly populated places and everyone wants to pat me, forgetting my humanity (the hand in the puppet, as it were).
I think I shall experiment more with being a cat and go out more.
I am - for myself - soothed wonderfully by being a cat. She bounds along, fluidly, cat-like and is a balm to my actual human emotions. Paschie and I were very close. I said of her that she was the love of my life, so it hurts that she is not here anymore filling her presence in my house. I rattle around the house like a pea.
Interesting, me thinks, how wearing cat's clothes (the bodily form of cat) is so soothing for me in my actual pain....
Saturday, 29 September 2012
Rattled by encroaching objects
For much of this week I was bothered by encroaching objects from the land beyond Naga Saphira, specifically a Sim Cliff and accompanying rocks. Ironically these cliffs are copies of the one I have been using myself for much of this year, but because these were not my objects I came to detest them! Clearly my neurosis, like a petticoat, was showing. I reacted in the same way as I react to the goings on of my first life's neighbours. Real/virtual life is the same as far as I'm concerned. I feel encroachment keenly. I guess this is a result of some old old issues and the post traumatic stress disorder I have. In other words what happened recently became yet another tool for focusing and mindfulness.
I reported the encroaching objects several times to both the land owner and Linden labs. Probably once was enough, but the whole thing irritated me enormously.
I used this opportunity to trace my reaction. I flattened my land and removed the back mountains to show the land owner (I merely lease it) the presence of the neighbour's objects, then came an explosion of colour and exotica. Interesting, this. Instead of concealing myself, I came out extravagantly, excessively. Here I am! This is me! None of this reaction was particularly conscious, I'm afraid to say. It was pure reactivity.
And so, what you'll find now should you visit, is a lot of water I've created from a base, a temple with fluttering curtains and gods. You'll find also a planetarium high in the sky (500 m). Enter and there is a panoply of gods and swirling stars. Enjoy.
I reported the encroaching objects several times to both the land owner and Linden labs. Probably once was enough, but the whole thing irritated me enormously.
I used this opportunity to trace my reaction. I flattened my land and removed the back mountains to show the land owner (I merely lease it) the presence of the neighbour's objects, then came an explosion of colour and exotica. Interesting, this. Instead of concealing myself, I came out extravagantly, excessively. Here I am! This is me! None of this reaction was particularly conscious, I'm afraid to say. It was pure reactivity.
And so, what you'll find now should you visit, is a lot of water I've created from a base, a temple with fluttering curtains and gods. You'll find also a planetarium high in the sky (500 m). Enter and there is a panoply of gods and swirling stars. Enjoy.
Monday, 30 July 2012
I am Lighthouse
There be a lighthouse on Naga Saphira to show the way for ships wending their way through treacherous waters. Not particularly relevant for avatars who simply teleport in. Naga Saphira is listed in Second Life search, so getting there is no big thing.
The lighthouse, though, is an evocative image, at least for me, first life Eli.a...., for I was conceived - according to a family friend at my father's funeral wake - in a lighthouse cottage on Rottnest Island off the coast of Western Australia, with wild waves beating the rocks around the making of me. This is my landscape, my deep heart's calling.
This beautiful sea building in Naga Saphira, a liminal place (legendary/mythical/augmented reality), has a beacon to light the way for travellers between sea and land or sea and sea.
It is important for me to explore being a beacon personified, as in my work as a psychotherapist I am something of an entity - steadfast on the edge of a rocky, wild wind swept cliff - there for travellers between sea and land or sea and sea. I am lighthouse.
The lighthouse, though, is an evocative image, at least for me, first life Eli.a...., for I was conceived - according to a family friend at my father's funeral wake - in a lighthouse cottage on Rottnest Island off the coast of Western Australia, with wild waves beating the rocks around the making of me. This is my landscape, my deep heart's calling.
This beautiful sea building in Naga Saphira, a liminal place (legendary/mythical/augmented reality), has a beacon to light the way for travellers between sea and land or sea and sea.
It is important for me to explore being a beacon personified, as in my work as a psychotherapist I am something of an entity - steadfast on the edge of a rocky, wild wind swept cliff - there for travellers between sea and land or sea and sea. I am lighthouse.
Sunday, 24 June 2012
Moody Pines
Changed again. Too much joie de vivre, too many pink cherry trees and
psychedelic extravagances in the last Naga Saphira landscape! So now
the landscape is more moody, more reflective. The ground is littered
with needles and sticks and mosses. Pines dominate. A volcano seeths
nearby, while an underwater pagoda misplaced up on shore bubbles as fish
and a red jellyfish circle above the water, mysterious flowers emerge
from ancient ground, there's an orange tree, and a peach; my tent is
there once more. It is a strange and strangely inviting place.
I am intrigued by my creations. I mull upon this place I call my Second Life home and question what it is in me to create the milieux I do. While making Moody Pines I am recovering from a bad cold. Are the elements in my scene symbolic representations of a disease process; is the hovering red jellyfish a depiction of a virus made manifest?
When I was doing my first degree in English Literature, I was very interested in symbolism and the unconscious. I remain interested in symbolism, but no longer buy Freud's conception of the unconscious - nor Jung's, even (well, not wholly). In some senses I think unconscious processes are deeper than either of these two guys thought and arise from a body "knowing"; in other senses what they saw as unconscious processes are preconscious processes that arise in relation to.... Remember, both Freud and Jung saw the human psyche as being quite compartmentalized with a definite place called "the unconscious". I do not see things this way. For me arisings in consciousness are just that, "arisings" but not from an individualistic hidden self; these consciousness arisings are relational. Relational to other selves, environments we encounter, our own histories and memories, and from our own flesh and blood. Consciousness is an emergent property, an emergent relational process.
Just thinking now about my comment about body "knowing," I recognize a need to explain what I mean. Clearly the body does not "know" nor "think" in any way similar to the mind, but there is deep core "knowing," a tissue, muscle, chromosomal knowing and memory. I shall give an example of this shortly, but first I want to signal a philosophy called 'biosemiotics' where biology is interpreted as a sign symbol study. In a few words, biosemiotics sees the evolution of signs/symbols as arising from the same evolution of life itself. Biosemioticians think that once we understand the signs and symbols of biology (which are - apparently - regular), we'll understand the life process (which they see as regular). A grand belief, for sure. The trouble is, signs and symbols are not regular, nor constant across the various cultural expressions of them - despite Jung's (for example) determination to make them so.
Symbols, like the production of dreams, arise in the person uniquely as well as culturally. There isn't a one-to-one correspondence between an image and a meaning, as least as far as I'm concerned. For me, at this moment, the red jellyfish in my SL scene feels right as a symbol of an invading virus; a thing taken out of its environment and into my otherwise healthy cells; a thing making itself dominant. Yet, in my time honoured way, I Google this: jellyfish symbolism, and find in a site dedicated to the shamanistic journey: Jellyfish, Power Animal, Symbol of Acceptance and Faith. So, either I am in denial or the equivalent of a dictionary definition is inept. As I say, signs and symbols are not regular and understanding them is not a simple process of Googling nor flipping open a dictionary of signs and symbols.
To return to an example of body "knowing" I'm thinking of a case of the neurologist, Oliver Sacks where an elderly woman started experiencing sexy feelings and started to act flirtatiously with the nursing home staff. He diagnosed her with Cupid's Disease and blood tests showed that the sexually transmitted disease syphilis this old woman had contracted years ago was being reactivated at a neural level, and strangely, reactivating her body's sexual desire from the time of the disease contraction. Funny business, but it demonstrates the interaction of thoughts, desires, memories, and disease.
The visual arts abound with depictions of inner processes, whether realized or not. Munch's 'The Scream' says it all. Van Gogh's swirling landscapes used to say, "he's mad" but now - through an incredible amount of research and reassessment - speak of a man understanding the process of things, the realization of things in change. Monet's progressing problem with cataracts saw his paintings, once vibrant and colourful, change to muddy and brown as his eyes dimmed.
Naga Saphira is a palate for expressing myself, as is Elila herself. My avatar, in this russet landscape needed to be expressed in another way. No longer a Minoan woman, but now in a lilac-flowered dress to complement the landscape. With SL we become artists, and as artists, we bring our health into our creations.
[My title 'Moody Pines' sort of sums up the criss-cross between feeling unwell and depiction of it all.]
I am intrigued by my creations. I mull upon this place I call my Second Life home and question what it is in me to create the milieux I do. While making Moody Pines I am recovering from a bad cold. Are the elements in my scene symbolic representations of a disease process; is the hovering red jellyfish a depiction of a virus made manifest?
When I was doing my first degree in English Literature, I was very interested in symbolism and the unconscious. I remain interested in symbolism, but no longer buy Freud's conception of the unconscious - nor Jung's, even (well, not wholly). In some senses I think unconscious processes are deeper than either of these two guys thought and arise from a body "knowing"; in other senses what they saw as unconscious processes are preconscious processes that arise in relation to.... Remember, both Freud and Jung saw the human psyche as being quite compartmentalized with a definite place called "the unconscious". I do not see things this way. For me arisings in consciousness are just that, "arisings" but not from an individualistic hidden self; these consciousness arisings are relational. Relational to other selves, environments we encounter, our own histories and memories, and from our own flesh and blood. Consciousness is an emergent property, an emergent relational process.
Just thinking now about my comment about body "knowing," I recognize a need to explain what I mean. Clearly the body does not "know" nor "think" in any way similar to the mind, but there is deep core "knowing," a tissue, muscle, chromosomal knowing and memory. I shall give an example of this shortly, but first I want to signal a philosophy called 'biosemiotics' where biology is interpreted as a sign symbol study. In a few words, biosemiotics sees the evolution of signs/symbols as arising from the same evolution of life itself. Biosemioticians think that once we understand the signs and symbols of biology (which are - apparently - regular), we'll understand the life process (which they see as regular). A grand belief, for sure. The trouble is, signs and symbols are not regular, nor constant across the various cultural expressions of them - despite Jung's (for example) determination to make them so.
Symbols, like the production of dreams, arise in the person uniquely as well as culturally. There isn't a one-to-one correspondence between an image and a meaning, as least as far as I'm concerned. For me, at this moment, the red jellyfish in my SL scene feels right as a symbol of an invading virus; a thing taken out of its environment and into my otherwise healthy cells; a thing making itself dominant. Yet, in my time honoured way, I Google this: jellyfish symbolism, and find in a site dedicated to the shamanistic journey: Jellyfish, Power Animal, Symbol of Acceptance and Faith. So, either I am in denial or the equivalent of a dictionary definition is inept. As I say, signs and symbols are not regular and understanding them is not a simple process of Googling nor flipping open a dictionary of signs and symbols.
To return to an example of body "knowing" I'm thinking of a case of the neurologist, Oliver Sacks where an elderly woman started experiencing sexy feelings and started to act flirtatiously with the nursing home staff. He diagnosed her with Cupid's Disease and blood tests showed that the sexually transmitted disease syphilis this old woman had contracted years ago was being reactivated at a neural level, and strangely, reactivating her body's sexual desire from the time of the disease contraction. Funny business, but it demonstrates the interaction of thoughts, desires, memories, and disease.
The visual arts abound with depictions of inner processes, whether realized or not. Munch's 'The Scream' says it all. Van Gogh's swirling landscapes used to say, "he's mad" but now - through an incredible amount of research and reassessment - speak of a man understanding the process of things, the realization of things in change. Monet's progressing problem with cataracts saw his paintings, once vibrant and colourful, change to muddy and brown as his eyes dimmed.
Naga Saphira is a palate for expressing myself, as is Elila herself. My avatar, in this russet landscape needed to be expressed in another way. No longer a Minoan woman, but now in a lilac-flowered dress to complement the landscape. With SL we become artists, and as artists, we bring our health into our creations.
[My title 'Moody Pines' sort of sums up the criss-cross between feeling unwell and depiction of it all.]
Monday, 11 June 2012
It's cherry blossom time
Naga Saphira is celebrating cherry blossom time, even though in RL in Australia it's now winter. Gotta have a bit of escapism. Naga Saphira is swathed in blossum, looked over by slowly circling planets and a sun, gazed upon by a large Middle Eastern temple, and observed above from a tent on a hill. Within the tent, avatars can sit in meditation and gaze within. Now is the time for Now. Enjoy.
Monday, 28 May 2012
Naga Saphira
Naga Saphira is a very beautiful place in the virtual computer generated environment of Second Life where people can come and experiment with their avatar shapes and skins, where they can seek solace, meditation and relaxation.
"Naga Saphira" refers to the name of the last Japanese dragon. "Naga" means "dragon, or serpent" and "Saphira" is the dragon's name. Saphira, as legend has it, was the most beautiful dragon of all. Interestingly, "naga" also refers to the alignment of energy chakras in the body, so there is this dimension to the name as well. I chose "Naga Saphira" because the dragon is mythical and yet embedded in our psyches enough to be almost real and is thus a perfect name for the reality of virtual space.
Second life, like other immersive environments, is not just about representation and role playing, but a metaverse of embodied selves occupying non-physical bodies. It is a psychological interface of the not-quite real and the not-quite magical. We bring aspects of ourselves to whatever form we create and it is in doing this that therapeutic possibilities open up to us.
I am primarily interested in therapeutic experimentation, and this is why I have created this blog and designed my Second Life space of Naga Saphira. I'm interested in sharing my experiments with shapes and skins in Second Life and would love to hear of readers' explorations as well. I'm curious about the reactions of other people on interacting with your avatar, I'm curious about how "wearing" different skins affects the user, I want to know what it is like for myself and others to encounter anxiety situations (that in first life we would tend to avoid) and how we overcome our anxiety (eg fear of falling or social anxiety), and so on.
I am interested, too, in the medium of computed generated virtual environments in the making, negotiation and stretching of meaning; of symbology; of story making; of explorations of consciousness and philosophic ideas of consciousness; of creativity and a whole lot more. Ideas of "the body" are interesting and how what a virtual body affects actual bodies.... Much to explore.
Second Life is increasingly being used therapeutically to counter such conditions as Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, to train people with Asperger's Syndrome in social scripts, introduce in a safe way fear elements to people with phobias, and so on. It's also been found to aid neurological recovery in some cases of paraplegia. Very interesting stuff and a wonderful research area.
"Naga Saphira" refers to the name of the last Japanese dragon. "Naga" means "dragon, or serpent" and "Saphira" is the dragon's name. Saphira, as legend has it, was the most beautiful dragon of all. Interestingly, "naga" also refers to the alignment of energy chakras in the body, so there is this dimension to the name as well. I chose "Naga Saphira" because the dragon is mythical and yet embedded in our psyches enough to be almost real and is thus a perfect name for the reality of virtual space.
Second life, like other immersive environments, is not just about representation and role playing, but a metaverse of embodied selves occupying non-physical bodies. It is a psychological interface of the not-quite real and the not-quite magical. We bring aspects of ourselves to whatever form we create and it is in doing this that therapeutic possibilities open up to us.
I am primarily interested in therapeutic experimentation, and this is why I have created this blog and designed my Second Life space of Naga Saphira. I'm interested in sharing my experiments with shapes and skins in Second Life and would love to hear of readers' explorations as well. I'm curious about the reactions of other people on interacting with your avatar, I'm curious about how "wearing" different skins affects the user, I want to know what it is like for myself and others to encounter anxiety situations (that in first life we would tend to avoid) and how we overcome our anxiety (eg fear of falling or social anxiety), and so on.
I am interested, too, in the medium of computed generated virtual environments in the making, negotiation and stretching of meaning; of symbology; of story making; of explorations of consciousness and philosophic ideas of consciousness; of creativity and a whole lot more. Ideas of "the body" are interesting and how what a virtual body affects actual bodies.... Much to explore.
Second Life is increasingly being used therapeutically to counter such conditions as Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, to train people with Asperger's Syndrome in social scripts, introduce in a safe way fear elements to people with phobias, and so on. It's also been found to aid neurological recovery in some cases of paraplegia. Very interesting stuff and a wonderful research area.
Refurbishment
I am refurbishing Naga Saphira. I felt I had completed my new born unicorn saga, with the horses rushing to meet her. That was a beautiful story. The ice horses from Christmastide changed as they moved closer to the little unicorn, becoming flesh and blood horses, and as they moved still closer, started to glow. The unicorn is a Christ symbol and thus a symbol of rebirth.
Now that scene has gone and I am building a cherry tree Middle Eastern land. There is exuberance here. Lots of colour and beauty. There is an Indian style spa bath for some glorious wallowing. There are also lots of nooks and crannies to explore.
The morphology has changed too. Mountains are were mountains were not previously. Water courses are being moved too.
One horse remains. He flies above, reminding us what has gone before.
Naga Saphira is a land where stories are told and re-told. It is also a space for exploring myself, yourself, the nature of selves, expressions of consciousness, what consciousness means, image and symbol, stretching and negotiating and elaborating meaning, the liminal between the virtual and "real" (whatever that actually means), having a body, ideas of body (who is wallowing in a spa?, and how does that feel to the person in front on their computer screen?), ideas of art and idealism, ideas of avatar as extensor of the bodymindself of producer (person in front of computer screen), medium as message (McLuhan), and so on and so forth. I want others to share with me in these explorations and would like to establish dialogue with fellow adventurers in SL land.
Now that scene has gone and I am building a cherry tree Middle Eastern land. There is exuberance here. Lots of colour and beauty. There is an Indian style spa bath for some glorious wallowing. There are also lots of nooks and crannies to explore.
The morphology has changed too. Mountains are were mountains were not previously. Water courses are being moved too.
One horse remains. He flies above, reminding us what has gone before.
Naga Saphira is a land where stories are told and re-told. It is also a space for exploring myself, yourself, the nature of selves, expressions of consciousness, what consciousness means, image and symbol, stretching and negotiating and elaborating meaning, the liminal between the virtual and "real" (whatever that actually means), having a body, ideas of body (who is wallowing in a spa?, and how does that feel to the person in front on their computer screen?), ideas of art and idealism, ideas of avatar as extensor of the bodymindself of producer (person in front of computer screen), medium as message (McLuhan), and so on and so forth. I want others to share with me in these explorations and would like to establish dialogue with fellow adventurers in SL land.
Monday, 30 April 2012
back again
Elila has had several avatar forms. She started out as an ethereal lightworker with a long blond plait and blue faery wings. Now I've named her Saphira, being as I am, very attracted to the idea of the last Japanese dragon (Naga). The passion for this intrigues me.
I recognize in myself a sort of asceticism as well as a love of richness. I like the fact that Naga Saphira is a meditative garden where you can do tai chi, or sit in meditation, or cuddle in the ponds, or just walk from garden room to garden room.
I've incorporated a little visual story. In the forest there is an infant unicorn. She is new born and very magical. Horses gallop to see her. All the horses, except one, are made of ice. The exception is a brown and white horse that is half light, half flesh and blood. The meaning, for me, is that the little magical one is melting the hearts of the icy horses, making them into flesh and blood, and infusing them with light. One day all the horses will be flesh and blood and light.
I hope my land will be visited often, so that you can see the story unfold.
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
Garden
I've redesigned my garden. It is now spring and full of flowers, butterflies, and grasses. Ice horses gallop across the landscape. There are places to chat together with friends, to meditate, or just sit. There are places to walk and get lost. This is a truly lovely place to simply be.
It is interesting that this manifestion of Naga Saphira is the most visited. I like that.
It is interesting that this manifestion of Naga Saphira is the most visited. I like that.
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Christmastide
I've wiped my land "Naga Saphira" and am building a winter-into-spring scene and am finding the whole process wonderfully therapeutic. The old has passed away and there is a sense of expectation of new beginnings. The making of this winter/spring wonderland is an integral part of my own letting go of the old and embracing of a shimmering newness. My life feels on the verge of otherness.
Friday, 14 October 2011
Gardens, continued
I am continuing to build gardens in Naga Saphira, laying down grass and reeds, rocks and trees and building a magic underwater garden as well. I have seals dancing, a maypole, a rock to sit on, meditation cushions; I am making this space intensely beautiful. It interests me that the work I'm doing in this virtual space parallels the work I'm doing (I, being the avatar puppet mistress) in my first life garden. I notice my reclusiveness in second life and my reclusiveness in first life and feel gently nurtured in my garden making explorations.
Sunday, 9 October 2011
Flower garden
It's spring in rl and in Naga Saphira so I've been planting flowers. I'm also building a beautiful underwater garden where seals play. There is something deeply nurturing about planting flowers, whether in rl or sl and it is interesting that the poor old brain gets the same pleasure from it. I don't think the mind can really differentiate between a virtual space and a real one. A creative act is a creative act.
Tuesday, 20 September 2011
Being a dragon
I have several different coloured dragon forms and enjoy being a dragon. These beasts fly magnificently, bite and breathe fire. I feel so liberated. It's wonderful.
Four women
A few months ago I did an interesting social experiment on Second Life where I went in 4 different skins to a site where you can sit down and beg for money under a sign reading something like: "I can't pay my rent. Will you please help me by paying 10 Linden dollars." I sat there for 10 minutes each time. My name was visible: Elila Azalee, but I looked different each time, though what I wore didn't change. For the first sitting I was a beautiful dark skinned woman. No one went near me, no one spoke to me, and I got no money at all. Then I went off and returned as a gorgeous Japanese woman. People looked, but no one spoke, but I got one payment. Then, after 10 minutes, I went off and returned as a lovely blond Caucasian woman. Suddenly every one wanted to talk. I was like a bee hive. And I made a lot of money in that skin. After 10 minutes I went off and returned as a red haired freckled woman, but by then the people at this site were on to me. Suddenly my name was familiar. So, "cover" (!) blown I stopped the experiment.
So racial prejudice is alive and obscenely well.
It is interesting that I feel most comfortable in my Japanese skin, even though I am actually Caucasian (though with a bit of Mongolian) in real life. Thinking about this in relation to the experiment described here, perhaps it is because I am left alone, though do attract a little interest - enough to feel comfortable in this virtual space. I am essentially an introvert, after all.
So racial prejudice is alive and obscenely well.
It is interesting that I feel most comfortable in my Japanese skin, even though I am actually Caucasian (though with a bit of Mongolian) in real life. Thinking about this in relation to the experiment described here, perhaps it is because I am left alone, though do attract a little interest - enough to feel comfortable in this virtual space. I am essentially an introvert, after all.
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Thinking about the difference between 'making love' and paying for it, as a SL encounter
As you know I'm experimenting with personas on Second Life, so the other evening I went to a sex joint on SL to experience that. A guy asked me whether I wanted to be paid for having sex with him or if I did for nothing. I'd never experienced being a hooker, so I said he'd need to pay for it. I had no idea how much I'd charge, thinking I'd come up with some figure or other fairly soon. The guy said something along the lines of women aways wanting to be paid and a lot of women at this location weren't women anyway and why not just make love to him. Mmm, I thought. I decided to enter into discussion with him. I said, yes, I'm female (and I am too!), and it was my very first time in asking for Linden dollars (which are pretty small), but why call free sex 'making love'. I'd only just met the guy, so it can't be love.
Is the euphemism, 'making love' what you do when you have short-circuited an actual relationship in lieu of that relationship - at least in the context I've described above?
Not long ago I reviewed a book on boundary violations, specifically sexual, committed by therapists while working with their clients. The author made the point that these violations occurred at the point when the therapist actually lost interest in their client, but being unable to face this fact, quickly moved into the personal space of the client to cover up - as it were - their loss of interest, thus changing the power dynamic completely. I wonder if there is a parallel process going on in the context described above. Or is it only the fact that SL guy above was too mean with his money? Why call it 'making love', though? Why not call it 'sex'? There is that hint of manipulation, that idea that to call sex 'making love' - even in virtual space - transgresses natural boundaries and covers over the fact that contact here was transitory and makes it, apparently 'alright'. It is not to say the contact was not real, for even virtual contact is real; it augments the here and now being in the world.
My response to him was not what he expected and he got very huffy and said a rather pointless thing, that he knew a lot of people here on SL. I responded and said I knew a lot of people here too. As if that mattered at all.
Is the euphemism, 'making love' what you do when you have short-circuited an actual relationship in lieu of that relationship - at least in the context I've described above?
Not long ago I reviewed a book on boundary violations, specifically sexual, committed by therapists while working with their clients. The author made the point that these violations occurred at the point when the therapist actually lost interest in their client, but being unable to face this fact, quickly moved into the personal space of the client to cover up - as it were - their loss of interest, thus changing the power dynamic completely. I wonder if there is a parallel process going on in the context described above. Or is it only the fact that SL guy above was too mean with his money? Why call it 'making love', though? Why not call it 'sex'? There is that hint of manipulation, that idea that to call sex 'making love' - even in virtual space - transgresses natural boundaries and covers over the fact that contact here was transitory and makes it, apparently 'alright'. It is not to say the contact was not real, for even virtual contact is real; it augments the here and now being in the world.
My response to him was not what he expected and he got very huffy and said a rather pointless thing, that he knew a lot of people here on SL. I responded and said I knew a lot of people here too. As if that mattered at all.
Monday, 5 September 2011
Experimenting with a bag lady persona
All my life I'd always had a fear of ending up on the streets, of becoming a bag lady - you know the old lady who trundles around the streets with all her belongings in plastic bags and wearing all her clothes at once; a homeless old soul, sad and mad.
When I was doing my PhD at university I discovered an interesting fact that many of my single (female) colleagues shared this fear. It drove us to take as much teaching work as we could manage, while still working on our various projects. Our male colleagues didn't have that fear, interestingly. I'd wondered about this fear so often that when I joined the computer generated virtual environment that is Second Life I thought I'd examine it more closely, examine my repulsion, attraction (for that was in "there" as well) and the nitty gritty of the anxieties that drove it. So I found a disgusting old skin and shape (not easy to locate in this virtual space because most people like beautiful bodies and that's what are in the marketplace) and clothed her in unmatching rags and took her to fashionable places where she'd sit or just get in people's way. Every avatar avoided her. I could barely stand being her, but I stuck with my discomfort (through upwelling nausea) and after 3 consecutive evenings I completely lost my fear.
Part of my bag-lady fear was a money anxiety so profound that I couldn't invest money, but had to have it available - at hand - in short term deposits (a bank equivalent of money under the mattress). I'd been to a financial adviser a year or so previously, but couldn't go ahead with the plan she drew up. After the bag-lady experiment I felt able to return to the financial adviser, draw up another plan, and invest my money properly.
The bag lady experiment was a success and alerted me to other useful experiments. I intend to use this blog to write about some of these.
When I was doing my PhD at university I discovered an interesting fact that many of my single (female) colleagues shared this fear. It drove us to take as much teaching work as we could manage, while still working on our various projects. Our male colleagues didn't have that fear, interestingly. I'd wondered about this fear so often that when I joined the computer generated virtual environment that is Second Life I thought I'd examine it more closely, examine my repulsion, attraction (for that was in "there" as well) and the nitty gritty of the anxieties that drove it. So I found a disgusting old skin and shape (not easy to locate in this virtual space because most people like beautiful bodies and that's what are in the marketplace) and clothed her in unmatching rags and took her to fashionable places where she'd sit or just get in people's way. Every avatar avoided her. I could barely stand being her, but I stuck with my discomfort (through upwelling nausea) and after 3 consecutive evenings I completely lost my fear.
Part of my bag-lady fear was a money anxiety so profound that I couldn't invest money, but had to have it available - at hand - in short term deposits (a bank equivalent of money under the mattress). I'd been to a financial adviser a year or so previously, but couldn't go ahead with the plan she drew up. After the bag-lady experiment I felt able to return to the financial adviser, draw up another plan, and invest my money properly.
The bag lady experiment was a success and alerted me to other useful experiments. I intend to use this blog to write about some of these.
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